Wednesday, May 5, 2010

the ugly side of Kansas City

It seems yet again the ugly side of the Kansas City quilting community shows its ugly head. I'm not good enough for an elitist group of quilters or their guild. About a week ago, I suggested we (the guild) make a quilt for a member's daughter. It was all well and good, made a post about it on the guild site, and had a great response. As of today, I have no clue the status of this project. All discussion has been removed from the site, someone else has 'taken over' and all the decisions were made when a few of the members attended a sewing day (I couldn't attend due to work scheduling). Fine... I requested I be kept in the loop and I'd make a block to help out. Fast forward to today. I received a piece of fabric in the mail, I thought cool, I can make the block... After measuring it, and with the block they want to make I'm a few inches short. The piece looks like a left over. And its not even cut straight not to mention that to make the block they want, I'd have to use the selvage.

After discussing the quilt project with another member, she invited me to join a VIRTUAL quilting bee. I agreed to join and even made arrangements to attend the next guild meeting (and meetings following in order to meet the obligations of the bee). So late Tuesday evening I get a message saying I was removed because they wanted to make the bee for people who were committed to the guild. Fine... Take your bee and well you know...

Shall we ice the male quilter hater cake? Some of the people who are in the guild were also friends on facebook. Guess what??? of the 6 that were on my list, one remains, but I figure after she reads my reply to her "you're out of the bee" message, she'll unfriend me too. Thats okay, she's apparently stopped following my blog as well. It's her loss.

Some free advice from me:
If you're a guy and you make quilts, stay the hell away from Kansas City.

I'm not the only male quilter in the area who has been treated this way.

27 comments:

  1. I find this appalling. All the guy quilters I have met have been top notch. I also left a guild after 3 years (2 of which I was president) because it was so difficult to get the women to agree on anything or to follow through on active projects. As much as I hate to admit it (being a gal!) I found the women to be very catty and most did not want anything more than to satisfy their own egos. I'm sorry this happened to you. I've been following your blog for a while now and I think your work is great. Lynne

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  2. I'm sorry this happened to you, but Quilts and Cats is correct. Women can be very catty. I used to belong to a guild where I had done a lot for that guild.....but a change of administration took over and was NOT a good change. Myself and a few others left and I don't know if I'll ever go back. They are around 200 members' strong and think they are THE BEST....and, here is a hot flash for them....they are NOT. I would think it important to encourage the relatively few men who quilt...so I don't know what is going on with those Kansas City ladies (and I use the word "ladies" loosely as they sure don't act very ladylike or kind). I'm guessing it might be related to your standing up to the people who wrote the newspaper article about the shop-hop to which some of us replied!!!

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  3. So Pat, can I just qualify something that you said? SOME women can be catty. I belong to a very wonderful guild, that is very supportive & full of energetic & excited quilters - both new and experienced. We welcome any & all quilters but don't have any men in the guild as of yet.

    Greg, I am really sorry this happened to you. So start your own guild, get the word out... you may find that some of the other "200 strong" actually hate being part of that guild but fear leaving it because it may be the only support structure or option they think they have.

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  4. Yikes! That's not playing nice. And don't worry about the number of "friends"...it's the quality of the friends that matters, not the number.
    Go forth and quilt!

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  5. Wow..wow...I'm shocked and appalled...I think Gene says it best LOL I can't believe that they'd do that to you. You're stuff is amazing, and they're missing out on your awesomeness (is that even a word?? oh well lol) You're better off, if they're like this. And I agree with LadyBug, start your own guild..I'll be a virtual member :)

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  6. Greg, that is so shameful! I am so sorry! I can honestly say that I believe I'd rather spend time with folks like you (fun and funny - male or female) than with a bunch of old biddies! Makes me ashamed to be a member of their gender!!! Too bad for them, I say!!

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  7. wow....to be honest, I love male quilters, they put a differnt twist and bring a breath of fresh air to the quilting arena. That is why I come to you blog....to see quilting in a different prespective....and I am sorry this is happening to you. Please keep on creating and doing what you do......we all love you here in blog land!!!

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  8. That's awful! How rude of them to treat you this way!

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  9. I have to say that the guild here seems very happy to have men. There was already another there when I got there. AND there is another blogger in the group. I guess I am just blessed.

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  10. Well thats a bummer. I vote setting up your own.
    Sadia

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  11. "I'm not good enough for an elitist group of quilters or their guild."

    Oh yes you are! It isn't your fault these women seem to be hung up on their own importance. Hopefully behaving in this manner affects their "quilting karma" and their seams just don't line up anymore!!

    Sadly I know how you feel -- the elitist quilting guild in my area has a similar prejudice against me as a young quilter. I was totally unprepared for the cold shoulder I got at their meetings -- I had thought beforehand that even if they didn't expect much of me as a quilter in my own right, they would at least be appreciative of a pair of young hands and eyes to help THEM. Old biddies indeed ...

    Ilyeana @ www.sailbit.blogspot.com

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  12. I'd be very happy to work with you on a project anytime!

    Hugs!

    SewCalGal
    www.sewcalgal.blogspot.com

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  13. strewth mate!!!! that's a bit harsh, if a fella wants to quilt that's his buisness, you're better off giving those sheilas a miss.

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  14. This sort of thing also happens to female quilters. Seems it a bit of 'if your face fits'. Who'd want to stay in a guild like that anyway.

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  15. I don't really know any male quilters but I find what you have said unbeilably discusting
    Have just visited your Blog for the first time

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  16. OT but... I just came over from Mickie's blog [Irish Muses] and had to tell you how grrrrrreat that Puffer Fish bag is!!!!

    Btw, I'm not into quilting myself. I'm not talented enough to be. Just found Micki's blog and read her, because we have a different mutual interest. :-) Anyway, it stinks that you are having this shunning happen to you. Guess it could be called shunning... Although it's an old term.

    I have another "old term," for those people. "F you and the horse you rode in on" Excuse me, if I shock any readers here. ,-)

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  17. Sorry that happened Greg...I am no longer a member of my guild, as the ladies are so catty and gossipy. I agree that women tend to be catty, and I always liked working with a male boss better...they are more laid back! You are appreciated here, and as you said it is their loss!
    Micki

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  18. Greg, I'm sorry these woman are shutting you out, they are the ones missing out. YOU ROCK!! Start your own small group and you'll find lots of awesome quilter's just like you and Brooke. Go forth and Quilt!!

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  19. Greg...some guilds are snobby, and some are warm and friendly. I'm sorry that happened to you. I agee with LadyBug..start your own. A few friends and I belonged to a very large guild and enjoyed it for a few years until they (the board) would not reveal to us what they were planning to do with the tens of thousands of $$ they had in the bank??? We were snubbed, and some of us quit the guild and have never looked back. We started our own quilt bee and it is still going strong after about 9 years. Good luck, keep on quiltin'.

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  20. Hi Greg,
    Sorry this happened but now you know why I don't join a local guild. The Forum is my guild. I was banned from SwapBot twice because I hadn't filled out my profile, even though I had before the second ban. Oh well, one less thing to do. You are on Facebook? I'll look you up.
    judee

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  21. Hi, Greg! It's my first time to your blog and I must tell you, I'd a whole lot rather spend time with guys than women! Women are catty and not nearly as fun as guys - so they just don't know what they are missing out on by shutting you out! I concur - start your own guild and invite everyone in the old group - I bet you'll get lots of quilters who are tired of the "politics"in the old group! Good luck!!

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  22. That sucks arse!!! What moles.
    I wish embarrassing facial hair on them.
    Don't let them discourage you Greg.
    Ab

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  23. I like my guild. But, it's a bit "clique-ish", know what I mean? of Course, I'm not the normal everyday "regular" quilter. What I mean, is, that I don't fit in thier mold & I really REALLY have to watch my mouth. Seems I shock people. All that aside, I have met some really nice ladies and though a FEW feel like the quilt police to me, I think it's like that everywhere. I have an attitude (so I am told) so if they don't like me? Well, I won't lose sleep over it! You shouldn't either (don't think you will anyway!!)

    Sam

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  24. Come down to New Orleans - we have a great local guild that I'm a part of and we have a blast! The bigger regional guild is a bit more catty and political in their ways which is par for the course with any association that requires membership. It's crazy that exclusions are something we still have to tolerate in modern society. Start your own group Greg - you can do what you want, when you want!

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  25. This is exactly why I dont belong to a guild anymore. I could not take any more of their silly crap.. They were ancient members and had been perched so long on their stools they believed they OWNED the guild and were real nasty to some of the new ones. BUT when there was a lot of work to do sitting up the shows and such the new younger ones were the first they called. I quit when I got the feeling everytime the meeting came around I felt like you do when you are in the dentist office and they have that heavy cover on you to xray your teeth. I quit the BULLS*** GUILD and the feeling left. I knew I had made the right decision. Why do we feel we need to belong to something? I dont need them or their shows for me to be able to know my abilities. It mades my head hurt to even run into any of them in the stores locally.

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  26. I forgot to add I rather be around a bunch of men anyday than a bunch of women! I can deal with them better than a bunch of backstabbers.

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